A Typical Afternoon
by KershaFangs
Summary: All of the Organization in The World That Never Was was doing great, but when a certain Sugar High Crack Angel Nobody needs to tell the Organization something about Xemnas, Larxene, Roxas, and Naminè, you know it can't be good... [OneShot] [Crack Theory]


Disclaimer: I own Roxxi, but I don't own Kingdom Hearts. 

Author's Notes: Ok, I was having writer's blocker for my Organization's New Recruits story so I came up with this in advance, just in case...

P.S If you haven't read my story, The Organization's New Recruit, then I suggest you do...

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It was one fine afternoon, Xaldin was watching the DirecTv, Demyx was playing a horrid song that sounded good only to him on his sitar, Axel was lighting things and Demyx on fire, Luxord had cheated everybody out of money at a game of cards, Marluxia was planting rose bushes outside and Xigbar had jumped out the window for no reason... Yep it was a typical normal afternoon.

Everyone was relaxed until Roxxi, being the Sugar-High Crack-Angel Sora-stalking Nobody in serious need of Ritalin that she was, bursted into the room, interuppeting everything everyone was doing.

"I just remember something that I seriously need to tell you all! It's important for you to know!"

Everyone groaned. _'Not another one of her tall tales' _they thought, Saïx was still getting over the whole killer-squirrels story...But no one had anything better to do... well they could throw Demyx out the window, but they have already done that today. "We are not going to listen to your story, Roxxi!" Xaldin yelled. "I think we should listen to her story," Narixsu said calmly. Well the story it is then!

"Okay, so, I was relaxing about a year ago", Roxxi started. "In my back yard when all of a sudden Larxene and Xemnas rode by on horses! They were mean enough to have glued paper horns to the poor horses, but I did nothing but stare. Larxene is like, what, at least 10, 15 years younger then Xemnas, but I was really in no mood to say anything, no matter how disgusting and wrong I find it to be dating your boss, the leader of an organization designed to control the only hottest and dreamiest known guy in existance -sigh- Sora..."

Everyone in the room stopped to look at Roxxi weirdly. _'Did she just say?...'_ Roxxi saw the strange looks she was getting.

"But I digress..." Roxxi said lowly.

"Suddenly, I saw them jump off the horses, hold hands, and walk into the park down my block," Roxxi resumed. "They walked slowly, and the horses followed them. Suddenly, I SAW XEMNAS PROPOSE! And kiss her…which was weird. Yucky. He's too old for her. So, I'm like, W.T.F.? They saw me and rode away."

Needless to say, all those listening to the story were speechless. Others had even come to listen to the Crack-Angel's story.  
"I saw them together again about a month ago, and remembered that disturbing, 15 minute scene. Only this time, I saw this little baby with them. He looked like Naraku from Inuyasha! So, then I was wondering: Is that really Xemnas and Larxene's baby?" Roxxi recited.

"Answer the last question people, but first - the twist: About an hour later, I saw Xemnas with Naminè, who was suppose to be going out with Roxas since my man turned into a heartless and all to save that damned ugly stupid hag, Kairi...but-Roxas-was-a-wonderful-addtion-to-the-Organization-since-he-can-wield-the-keyblade-but-then-was-a-shame-because-he-left-and-because-then-the-Organization-had-to-hire-me..." Roxxi quick mentioned to avoid being killed due to her obsession of Sora and hatred of Kairi... grrr, Kairi... "on a date. So, I was very disturbed."

Roxxi took a pause for dramatic effect and to see the looks on the faces on her listeners. Xaldin was taken in,  
Xigbar had run earlier to hear the story after jumping out the window to relive boredom, Narixsu had on her 'I'm going to kill you' smile, Demyx was so busy just gaping that he didn't realized he was on fire, Axel has just lit Demyx on fire, and Sora (who came in to kick the Organization's butt but stopped to hear the story and Roxxi had to resisit glomping long enough to finish the said story) was just gasping after hear that Naminè and Xemnas had probably gone out... Ewwww...

"Xemnas saw me, and came to tell me to shut up and to never tell anyone what I had saw, but I wanted to know what was going on first, so I asked him. He was like this to me; Naminè was and is my only love, but she is with Roxas. Larxene was just a temporary distraction, to me, just as Roxas was to her. So, I'm like, what the heck? Xemnas's about to ruin three people's lives by running off with Naminè, and we all know that his new love is not going to end well, so in the end, five people's lives are going to be ruined. I recommended marriage counseling. He said only if it was free. I said I'd help him. He is now waiting in my room with Larxene, their baby unless it's someone else's, and Roxas. Who, oddly, keeps on transporting through the walls and stealing Xigbar's beer. What do I say or do!"

Roxxi flung her arms around as she told everybody what had happened and at the end she put her arm down and sighed. At this point everyone realized that this wasn't a story, she was actually asking for their help.

"And, what do I do I'm confused! I mean, I don't want to tell Xemnas and Larxene to divorce since a baby is involved, but I think he made it very clear he wants nothing to do with her. Someone help me decide! Hmmm...maybe, I can tell Xemnas to stick with Larxene, saying he is stupid to date a woman who was distracted by another dude. Hell, I mean, Naminè seems like his distraction here. Think about it: They share a private office, see each other during the work hours, everyone else hides in their little rooms and probably won't see whatever is going on...I hope they're not listening... -nervously looks over shoulder- No, Naminè is busy fighting with Larxene. Wow. That's low. For god's sake she is a mother. Maybe Naminè is after Larxene's baby because she is too young to have her own. What can I do?"

Roxxi thought deeply on the problem on hand, actually waiting on an answer from any of those still listening or even alive.

No replide came because everyone was still trying to figure out the whole 'Larxene's baby that Naminè wants to steal thing'.

"I KNOW!" Roxxi suddenly exclaimed, "I can kill Naminè! Sora will be mines, Xemnas will return to Larxene, and Roxas will be single again! But, then again, what will happen to me if I get caught?"

Roxxi looked around nervously, but then ran into the kitchen. everyone turned their head to look inside of kitchen to see what Roxxi was doing. Roxxi came out with a bottle of Pepsi© and rat poison. She then pored the rat poison in the Pepsi© bottle and served the intoxicated drink in a cup. Roxxi ran with said cup in hand to her room. She opened the door and the sounds of girls fighting and yelling was heard. There was some talking and Roxxi came out of the room disappointed with the poisoned Pepsi© still in hand.

"Aw, crap, Naminè said she only likes Coke©. Ah, well...-ponders situation- WHAT DO I TELL THEM? I mean, Xemnas loves Naminè, but he should honor his marriage vows to Larxene..."

"Alright, that's enough!" Fianlly said Vexen, outraged by Roxxi's tale. "I think that if the Superior and the Savage Nymph of the Organiztion and Naminè were in your room, you wouldn't be telling us all that... And if they were really there for marriage counceling, I HIGHLY doubt you'd be just here asking US for advice for them... And third... this is just so stupid..."

"I am asking the opinions of my older Organization members because you know Xenmas and Larxene in a way a lot of people don't. You know Naminè, too, but not as much as Larxene. You see how they react together. I wonder why Xemnas decided to marry and have children with his follower though..." Roxxi said this all seriously and in a calm, almost caring voice which left Vexen baffled with only one thing.

"Then why are you telling Sora your story if he not in the Organization and barely known it's members personally?"

"Eh...", replided Roxxi. "He's hot."

This shut up Vexen good for a while as Roxxi continued her rant.

"I'm still confused about this though:

a. Naminè is going out with Roxas, who turns out to be a drunk.

b. Xemnas married Larxene and had a baby with her.

c. Xemnas wants to go out with Naminè, and called Larxene a distraction.

d. Roxas secretly wants Larxene, but she hates him..." Roxxi once again pondered.

" Hmmmm...what to do...what to do...This is all being complicated by the fact that Naminè wants custody of baby Naraku. They are still in there...talking things out, although Roxas is drunk. I'm interferring every once in a while, but this is something that needs to be settled by Xemnas, Larxene, and Naminè alone. Well, Larxene is angry that Xemnas made her have a kid even though she was so young and before she said she was ready. Naminè took this as a means of saying that Larxene didn't want her baby. Xemnas now seems to be leaning towards Larxene, as he sees how Naminè just wants to have the kid and nothing else. Larxene has announced that she 'might' be having another baby...Naminè seems angry. Naminè wants Larxene fired and wants her... children? 0.o Weirdo... Larxene just wants her husband, Naminè wants her...mate? She should just stay with Roxas..." Roxxi shrugged.

"And Larxene...for god's sake, Xemnas, she's 15 years younger then you but you are still her husband! I think Naminè wants to have a good time... NEWSFLASH! YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THAT! I hope Xemnas realizes Larxene should be more important to him. This is seriously happening! ALL of it! So much drama, so many tears, so many llamas, so much fear. Xemnas is confused but Larxene is hurt..."

Roxxi clunged the black robe she was wearing in despair, to show how hurt she really was in this whole scheme.

"I think you need a therapist. I'll give you the number of mine", said Xigbar casually, handing Roxxi a card.

"THEY need therapists!" She screamed, taking the card anyways, for future use. "Xemnas has to realize that not everything is about him. He has a family and responsibilites now! And also- huh?"

In the middle of that rant, Xemnas, Larxene, Naminè, and Roxas had walked out of Roxxi's room and stood before her and everyone.

"While Naminè and Larxene were fight and Roxxi was telling everyone about my affairs..." Xemnas stated and then glared at Roxxi, who in turn smiled sheepishly. "I had thought upon something. Yes, I loved Naminè, yes, I had a baby with Larxene, yes, Naminè wanted Larxene's child, yes, Roxas is a drunk."

Roxas walked staggerly and a beer bottle in hand. "Shut up, you... you... I forget!", shouted Roxas drunkly and prometted passed out.

"Yes", Xemnas continued. "I tried at cheat on Larxene while I was married to her, and yes she and Naminè are too young for me, but while trying to figure out a solution to our marital problems we remembered something... We're Nobodies, no hearts, no emotions, so... Larxene and I are getting a divorce, Naminè is dumping Roxas, we're probably going to get rid of the baby in a dumpster or something, then we're going to a club to get so hammered and pass out somewhere and wake up with such a hang-over, we'll most likely won't remember this ever happened."

And with that Xemnas, Larxene, Naminè dragged Roxas' unconscience body with them to the club. Everyone was truly shocked at this more than anything else. 'Roxxi was telling the TRUTH?' Everyone was left in compete shock and denial of this event. Roxxi watched Xemnas, Larxene, and Naminè drag the passed out Roxas, making him hit many objects on the way. Roxxi clapped her hand together and said with a big smile,"Well that resolved itself! And now that's there nothing holding me back.. SORA!"

Roxxi promptly tackled Sora to the ground, glomping him with Nobody love and then Roxxi tied him up and dragged him away to her room, doing what no one really wanted to know or cared... Yep, it was just a typical normal afternoon...

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KershaFangs: Well I hope this keeps some of you guys happy for a while. I'm really having serious writer's block though... Well, please review anyways!


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